Jack from Philadelphia writes:
I can’t depend the variety of occasions I’ve stood ready within the 18th fairway whereas the group forward of me removes their hats, shakes arms and chitchats on the 18th inexperienced. Can we agree that this apply wants to finish? If there are individuals behind you, transfer off the 18th inexperienced earlier than all of the niceties so that you don’t maintain up play. Right…?
Dear Jack:
The battle towards gradual play is a endless wrestle, waged on many fronts. As somebody who believes that 3 hours and 45 minutes on the course is greater than sufficient, the Etiquetteist has little endurance for the various ways in which golfers dilly-dally on the greens — whether or not it’s studying putts from a number of instructions; marking their ball when it’s inches from the cup as a substitute of knocking it in or sweeping it method; leaving their bag on the unsuitable facet of the inexperienced in order that they have to stroll again to seize their sticks earlier than transferring on to the subsequent tee; or…
The checklist of sluggish habits goes on and on, and every merchandise on it drives yours really batty.
But what makes such habits unacceptable isn’t simply the time it takes. It’s additionally largely pointless, counterproductive, even. As far because the Etiquettiest is aware of, there is no such thing as a proof that any of these dawdling extras lead to decrease scores for the typical Joe or Jane. If something, most golfers would in all probability play higher in the event that they streamlined their actions, give up the overthinking and picked up the tempo.
But shaking arms on the 18th inexperienced? That’s a special story. It isn’t pointless or counterproductive. It serves a goal, a well mannered custom that places a pleasing punctuation on the spherical. And within the grand scheme, the Etiquetteist would argue that it’s not what ought to concern you.
Think of it this method. If you end up standing within the 18th fairway, watching the group in entrance wrap up its enterprise, odds are you’ve got been ready behind those self same gamers for hours, watching every kind of irritating conduct, from pointless plumb-bobs to extraneous apply swings. By the time you attain the 18th fairway, that handshake up forward feels just like the final straw, the annoying tipping level in a day full of irrigations. And so that you rail towards it.
That’s comprehensible. But additionally irrational.
Of all the issues that trigger gradual play, a handshake on the 18th is in regards to the least of them. The Etiquetteist suggests that you simply choose your pace-of-play battles. If you need the group forward to choose it up, beg them not to grind over gimmes. Ask them to be extra conscious about the place they depart their luggage. But allow them to linger on the final inexperienced for a post-round handshake, offered they don’t keep there for a post-round beer.
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